The Wells

Thanks living

2011-12-08T09:17:00.000-08:00

Day 5- I am thankful for my mom, who has been my biggest support. I honestly could not have made it this far without her!
Day 6- This one is for you Megan! I am thankful I did not run the Whiterock half marathon this past weekend. But that is my goal for next year! I want to do one before I turn 30
Day 7- I am thankful for my friends who keep me focused on school and graduating!!!!!!!
Day 8- That it is dead week at school so that I can work on a final project

Days 2-4

2011-12-04T14:11:00.000-08:00

Day 2--I am thankful for Noah. He teaches me to be patient.
Day 3--Thankful for friends who make sure that your school work gets done (thanks AZ)
Day 4-- I am thankful for school and that i have the opportunity to go thanks to my Mom :)

Thanks Living day 1

2011-12-01T20:34:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for life's little surprises. At school not going to lie I was a little scared that I was not going to pass one of my classes. But have found out today that I am....So that means I will GRADUATE!!!!!! and then knowing that you still run across someones mind :)

Thanks Living

2011-11-29T12:46:00.000-08:00

At Church this Week the Pastor discussed Thanks Living. I know so many people did the 30 days of Thankfulness for November. I think I am going to do 31 days of Thanks Living for Christmas. I am going to be thankful each day for something that has happened that day, good or bad.

What does it take

2011-10-27T08:11:00.000-07:00

A Woman sits with a child. She knows every inch of him. She knows every bad dream he has ever had. She knows every scar he has. She knows his fears and how to calm him down. She knows all his first. She knows his friends and his favorite places to go. She knows what his favorite food and his least favorite food. She knows how to make him smile when he has a bad day. She loves him no matter how many times he tells her he hates her. She loves him unconditionally. We call this a mother. A mother knows her child and loves him more than she loves anything or anyone else. She will walk through fire for them and give her life. She will fight to protect her child from harm. Now here is the kicker this mother I am talking about did not give birth to this child, but you would never have known. A mother is born when a child is born even if she did not birth him herself. I love our legal system when it works. I have a very dear friend that the legal system did not work for her. I feel that the judgment that was handed down was the wrong one. I am asking for prayers that the Judge will change their mind and for peace for my friend. She is one of the most amazing women I have ever met. She is the kind of mom that we all strive to be. She loves her sons more than life it's self. My heart is aching for her today as are so many other of her friends hearts.

Tim McGraw

2011-10-25T08:28:00.000-07:00

I read a post from a woman about how fast her kids are growing and that they will never be that same age again. How true it is. The same can be said for us too. When I think Tim McGraw I think of my boyfriend from when I was 17. I think of the times we shared. He was my first love. I don't think you will ever love a guy the same way that you love your first. I would like to look back and tell you Jas and I had a great relationship but we didn't. But man did we love each other to the point where it became toxic. And yet I still look back and smile. I think of the times I shared with my then bff Megan. How for Junior prom we all went back to my house and Megan was dancing with the wall and well her pants....How we spent our weekends at her house. Mostly because we could get our hands on adult beverages. How cool we thought were jamming out to N*SYNC and Britney. How those days I would not trade for anything. The heartbreak, the first times, the laughter and the really good times we had. None of that we will get to experience again. But when I think Tim McGraw it takes me back.

Megan and I decided we would share him :)

Sometimes people forget

2011-10-23T15:29:00.000-07:00

I think people forget that I am a single parent. I do it all. There is no one else to pick up the slack. I am blessed to have my mom, but she is not the parent. So if one of the kids is up all night so am I. I still go to work or school or whatever else needs to be done. I can't pass it off to someone else to do. There are times that I just want to be left alone. Some people do not understand this. If I wanted to talk I would pick up the phone when you called. Please do not repeatedly call or text or email me. When I am ready I will talk but until then please get the hint I just want to be left alone. And it doesn't mean the I am "pulling" you down with me actually it doesn't even mean I am falling. In fact just the opposite. Sometimes I need to cut myself off so that I can get things done. And just to clarify if I fall I have plenty of people who would be MORE than willing to help me up.

Bullies

2011-10-22T14:46:00.000-07:00

As a Mom I want to protect my children from everything that may hurt them, but I know I can't. Bullies scare me more than anything else. How are you suppose to protect your kids from them? How are you to make sure that your children are not the one doing the bullying? We tell our kids that words do not hurt but the truth is they do. My heart goes out to the families who's children have taken their lives due to bullying. I will say that I am guilty of being not nice to people it is something that I am working. I want my children to treat everyone with respect and to use kind words even when they do not want to. Words are powerful and they do hurt.

Friends

2011-09-27T11:37:00.000-07:00

How do you get through life without them? Looking back over the last year I have lost one very dear friend because of my actions. At the same time he (God) has put 4 amazing people in my life. I promie to them no actual names! AB What would I do without my Bff?!?! You have a way of keeping me true whether I want to hear it or not! You have also helped me greatly in my walk with Jesus :) I know that you will always be there for me and I'll be there for you. AZ I love our Thursdays together! I love that our kids get along so well and hope that our girls will grow up to be the best of friends! I will miss when the semester is over and we will not be spending that time together. Miss S I have known you the longest out of these girls. I am so glad we reconnected again! My kids just adore and so do I. You are such a strong women and will be an AMAZING mommy. I cannot wait till baby boy is here and I can spoil him....Mel you are like my other half! I am so glad that God brought us together. I feel so blessed to be apart of your life. You are such a strong woman. I love baby C like my own and on the plus side i get to give him back. The next journey of your life will be a bit on the rough side and I will be there with you every step of the way. You are after all my partner in crime :) These 4 women are the best friends anyone could ask for. I do not know what i would do without any of them.

As for MS I am sorry. ( i know she sometimes stops by) For over 10 years there wasn't anything you wouldn't have done for me. You walked through one of the darkest times of my life with me and I am not sure how I would have gotten through it without you. I am thankful everyday for that. I messed all that up with one stupid thing. I should have come to you first before I did what I did.

Mine and AB's lil Devils :)

In some ways I think losing M made me grow as a person and not take for granted the friends I have now. There are times that I want to call her and have it just be like old times though I know nothing will ever be the same. But life goes on and I think if friendships are to be then God will have a way to heal them. If they are not then at least he gives you those good memories :)

First week and Back to school!

2011-08-21T14:07:00.000-07:00

Well I had my first full week of work last week and loved every minute of it. The people I work with are so nice and helpful! I couldn't ask for a better place to work. So now onto my second week and hoping it's just as good as the first. The 2 big boys start back to school tomorrow. I am excited and so are they! Hopefully I will remember to take pictures on their first day.

I just love when these 2 are being sweet to each other!

Noah telling me to get Logan off him

Enjoying the last few days of summer :)

Working Mom

2011-08-14T12:27:00.000-07:00

Logan playing with chalk :)

Well this Mom has just become a working Mom again. I was blessed to have a good friend who was promoted and recommended me for her position that she would be leaving! I had my first day on Friday and loved it. I am so excited to be getting back to work after 7.5 years of staying home. I am happy that I was able to stay home for so long after B and I separated. Now the next goal is to graduate in December and then hopefully in another year or so be able to move out on my own with the kids :) They are doing ok with the fact I am going back to work though we did have some tears on Friday when I could not attend the big boys talent show at camp. I know it will just take sometime to get used to me working.

Amelia dancing in between the boys :)

One Year Later

2011-08-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

Wow I cannot believe it has been a year since I have posted. The last year seems like a whirlwind! I have one semester left then I graduate with my associates in paralegal studies. I am hoping to complete my bachelors online threw Texas Tech which is where I went straight out of high school. Now on to the kids :)
Noah is doing ok. He starts first grade in 2 weeks. I cannot believe that he will be 8 in a few short months. We are still dealing with all the speech therapy and feeding issues. I wish I could say that this part of our lives have gotten better but it has not. He has been in camp this summer and has loved every minute of it.
Wyatt will be starting kindergarten and he is so ready for it! He is so excited to have Noah's same teachers. He has also been in camp with Noah and has really had a good time and made some good friends.
Amelia well what can I say about her. She is still the princess of the house and has just blossomed over the last year. She has major attitude! Hmmmm don't have any clue where she gets it from. She will be starting dance this fall. She has been telling me she wants to dance like our friends Bella and Gracie.
Baby Logan is not such a baby anymore. He is a handful! He is so lucky he is so cute! We have nick named him the sweet and sour patch kid. Because just like in the commercial he will do something sour then come up and give you a hug and just look at you so sweetly. He is such a daredevil when we go swimming he will run and jump straight into the pool. Which gives this Mama a heart attack!

Look how big my babies have gotten

I am going to try to blog once a week and start taking more pictures. I want to be able to have something to look back and remember when they were little!

My Boys

2010-07-20T14:39:00.000-07:00

Love this picture of the boys!

Logan my little ham at bedtimeWyatt my sweet boy

Noah my big boy he is AMAZING!

INVADERS

2010-07-20T14:28:00.000-07:00

They have invaded our house!

These cute little furry creatures have finally made their way to our house! I will say the zhu zhu pets are the best kind of pets to have they have kept the kids entertained for hours!!!!

anger/disappointment? maybe relieved?

2010-07-18T20:38:00.000-07:00

I wish I knew how to feel everytime i get the call that my exhusband is not coming to get the kids. Usually its with in hours of when he is suppose to pick them up. I wish that it did not happen very often or that the kids didnt know. I am not going to be the one to tell them. Even if it takes till 9 pm tomorrow night to get a hold of him. Like i said i dont know how i should feel. Part of me is ok with this. the other part is a little on the miffed side because i had plans and things i needed to get done with out the kids being with me.
I am trying hard not to hate him. He is after all their dad. I work everyday on forgiving him for waking up and choosing not to be a father. In church today the pastor talked about really learning and understanding God's word and then living by it. He does not have to answer to me but to God and that i am trying to take comfort in. I am trying to take a deep breath and really listen to what God would want me to do and to show my children. I am just soooo thankful at how blessed our life is. I know God has a plan for our life and that there will be a man MAN-enough to step in and show my boys what it means to be a Godly man and to show Mia what she deserves. For right now though i am very happy with where i am in my life.

growing up

2010-07-17T05:52:00.000-07:00

Last nigh it hit me that all my babies were growing up! Noah especially. I held him back a grade because I thought he needed it. I was wrong! I am going to try my hardest to get him into first grade. He has blossomed over the summer like I never expected. He is such a joy that while i am sad he is growing up i am excited to see who he becomes. Wyatt has really come out of his shell over the last year and he is so funny! He keeps me laughing all the time. You just never know what may come out of his mouth! Miss Amelia wow over the last month she has had a word explosion. She is also starting to use her imagination and its just as funny as Wyatts. The both of them LOVE scooby doo.... So when she doesnt want to go to bed she tells me that there is a monster and scooby doo needs to come get it... Then there is baby Logan he is the one who has really changed over the last few weeks. He threw his first tantrum lastnight and i wish i would have gotten it on flim! He is talking up a storm his new word is uh-oh! I love when babies start to use that word.

Show us your life

2010-07-15T18:59:00.000-07:00

So over at kellys korner she is doing show us you life for singles. SO here goes nothing. I live in Texas and i am a single mom to 4 wonderful children who are 6, 4 , 2 and 1. I enjoy hanging out with my kids. I also like to go out with my friends when i can find the time and babysitter. I am very family oreinted. I have full custody of my children. I am involved at my church and faith is very important to my along with honesty.

First Birthday!

2010-07-15T05:34:00.000-07:00

Logan turned one about a month ago! we have been so busy with summer activities that i have not been able to blog!

May happenings

2010-05-23T06:58:00.000-07:00

We have had a busy month! My divorce is finally final! Noah and Wyatt are almost done with school! Amelia had her first dance recital! Last but not least Baby Logan is almost 1!

april updates

2010-04-24T17:54:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful easter! We spent it with the kids paternal grandparents. The live on a nice piece of property and the best part is the have ducks! the kids love to go feed them. We are heading back that way for memorial weekend and the kids could be more excited. The kids get a chance to really run while they are there. It is also nice for me it give me a few extra sets of hands. Plus the kids adore their grandparents and their aunt!
On the divorce front it is still on going. I think we are in our 18th month now. I am ready to be done with it. He keeps telling me that he has moved on.... LOL i was like really i couldnt figure that out..... Since you have already set a wedding date with your 18 yr old gf. And correct me if i am wrong i am the one who filed for divorce! Not gonna lie it creeps me out that there is 19 year age difference. Maybe it would be different if she were 27 and he was 46.
On the school end- For the boys its going great! we are just getting ready for all the end of the year parties. This year we are doing a Luau theme! i am sooooo excited for it. For me on the other hand this week is really stressful! I am trying to finish up this weekend and it looks like it will happen but my poor kids have to deal with a stressed momma! atleast finishing up will give me about a month off from school.
We are looking forward to Logans first birthday!

Cowboy day

2010-04-17T14:56:00.000-07:00

Noah had cowboy day at school a few weeks ago so of course we had to go all out!

my little cowboy!

Easter 2010

2010-04-17T14:52:00.000-07:00

Our Easter was great this year. This was the first time we did not spend it with my family. We drove to Texarkana to spend it with the kids grandparents(B's parents). We had such a good time. This was the first time that they got to meet Logan. They kids love being there with them. They live on i believe 10 acres and the kids can run wild! Plus they have ducks! I will post pictures as soon as Grammy figures out how to email them to me.

The big 6!

2010-03-24T05:45:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe i have a 6 year old! He had his first real birthday party this year with a little friend from school. It was great we had hotdogs chips and of course a yummy transformer birthday cake! Noah is still my miracle baby and I think he will always be. Six short years ago I was so afraid of losing him. Now i look at him and sometimes it does seem like sitting in the NICU with him was a lifetime ago. Here are some pics of the party :)

it takes a village

2010-02-17T19:21:00.000-08:00

I must agree it does take a village to raise a child. Or in my case children. Being a single mom is hard. I knew it would be there are days when I am completely overwhelmed and want to pull my hair because i know that there will be no one walking through the door at 6 to help or give me a break. I know that i will be with out a partner for awhile and thats ok. I knew i had to be ok with it when i filed for divorce. But in the mean time I have a phenomenal best friend M she and T have been such a blessing! They met us yesterday after infusion and we went to Mr. Gattis. T was so good with the boys! And I am so grateful for them! here are some pics:

please don't

2010-02-14T20:28:00.000-08:00

Please don't tell me you get it about my sick kids or you hear me or anything to that affect! No you dont! You do not know what it is like to practicly live in the hospital. Or to have drs tell you that you are crazy! Or to have the ER flag you as a frequent flyer.... To be confined to your house with 2 very small children because everytime you go out with them they get sick. I dont just mean sniffles i mean 105 fever and a hospital stay. Because heres the deal you dont get it and you never really will! This is my life it wont get better my boys will not get better. I wake up everyday with a fear that they are sick and knowing that this is the sickness that they just cant fight. I live with the fear of losing my boys everyday so no you do not hear me when i say my kids are sick! and please do not complain about your child being sick becuase you truely have no IDEA what sick is!

SNOW!!!!!!!!!!

2010-02-11T14:50:00.000-08:00

It snowed here today!

Going back

2010-02-09T19:19:00.000-08:00

I am going back to church! I am so excited about this. I have felt for along time something has been missing from my life and from the kids. I have joined the moms group at church too! I feel like such a new person. I love that my life has had some crazy twist and turns but it has led me back to God. I feel at such peace. I did laugh when i found out what the meeting next week was about... Keeping your marriage working! Though i am sure that it could be applied to all relationships not just marriage... We will see how it goes! I am just excited to meet other moms!!!!!

How far?

2010-02-04T11:50:00.000-08:00

How far would you go to protect your kids? My friend K wrote about protecting her kids. It made me think about how far I would go. I am completely inlove with my kids :) they make me smile just thinking about them. The reality is i cannot protect them from everything but will do everything in power to try. I will try protect them from emotional and physical hurt. I have a hard decision to make do i allow my children to go to their fathers wedding or keep them home? Do i let them get angry with me now for reasons they will understand later or do i let them go and be here for them when they get back? The kids had a very hard time while they were with their dad. They are not used to seeing with anyone but me. They are still so young when do i let them go? I dont agree with this wedding at all. They were togther before i even filed for divorce and her age really bothers me! What if Mia were to come home at 18 with a 37 yr old? I must say God has blessed me with an amazing life, family and friends! Without them i am not sure i would know how to handle any of this! So do i let them go?

What if?

2010-01-24T13:34:00.000-08:00

What if I had told B that i wanted to get back together and try to work things out? What if i told him that over christmas. Would he have lied about his gf? Would he have ever told me? Or would he just keep her on the side? I was thinking about this last night.... Partly because i know he is not being honest about how long he has been together with his gf. The only thing i asked was that while we are still married that we go to each other when we were ready to date so that we could figure out together what was best for the kids. I dont like the fact that she met the kids before he told me about her. or that i had to learn about her from my 5 yr old. ....Yes I want the divorce hands down! I would never get back with B there is no trust there......But again what if?

Amelia's 2 yr appt

2010-01-22T13:25:00.000-08:00

my "little" girl two years later. She is only in the 5% for both height and weight!

Siblings

2010-01-21T12:49:00.000-08:00

My kids amaze me.. .The boys can be fighting on minute and playing the next.. And then there is Mia those boys protect her to no end and yet she can drive them up a wall! I find it sooo funny. Then there is baby Lo and all of them love him... All i keep thinking is in a few months when he is into everything we will see if they still feel the same! For now though here are some pics of the kids playing outside and Lo watching and wishing he could be out there too!

The Meeting

2010-01-21T12:05:00.000-08:00

Ok well i meet the girl friend.... All i have to say is she is 18.... He is 37 and wow.......Thats really all i can say.... I dont know how to be ok with that. I am trying to be ok with the fact he is dating someone who he is going to marry very soon. I just feel we are still married and could he not wait untill after it is final to bring her around for the sake of the kids? I am not sure that i believe him when he says they have been together for a short time... I am no where ready to start dating even though we have been separated for 16 months.. and when i do my kids lives and my dating life will remain separate till i know that he is the one. these are the reasons why:

My biggest reasons!

Dont you want to be mean?

2010-01-14T14:36:00.000-08:00

This is the question i am getting. The answer is no.
The background story:
It starts almost 7 years ago when B and i decide to get married. Our marriage was great in the beginning. We both had wonderful jobs great friends and family. Then we get the news we are expecting we were thrilled but cautious as we had lost our first. Things with Noahs pregnancy went well at first. By the time i was six months i started developing high blood pressure. Then around christmas time I delveloped polyhydraminos which is when you do not get rid of your fluid. It could possibly mean that the babies kidneys are failing. Then i started dialating at around 28 weeks. So on bedrest i went! Noah was born on Feb 23rd he was a premie! an 8lb 8oz premie! He spent time in the NICU and that was so hard to leave with out my child. I do not wish that on my enemy.... Life with Noah was rough he was sucha sick little baby that B and I lost our way. When Noah turned 1 we found uot we were expecting again it was a shock to both of us.. We were using protection. Things were starting to look back on track for us. B hard lost his job found a new one that was great! We were doing well. Noah was still very sick though. Didnt know what was wrong with him though. Wyatt joined our family in nov 05 perfectly health we thought. In april of 06 we found out what was wrong with Noah common variable immune defficiency (CVID). We were crushed he was so very sick. We thought we could survive anything... Noah started treatment and did and still does ok not great but ok... We thought things were ok When Wyatt turned 1 things went down hill fast with him health wise. We had him tested and with in a week of him being 18 months and us finding out we were expecting again (planned) he was diagnosed with the same thing. We were to say the least crushed then we found out it is genetic and i was/am the carier... I was soooo scared that we would be having another boy and could i handle another one. I cried myself to sleep many nights till we found out we were having a girl. But shortly after Mia was born our marriage was slowly going down hill. I cannot speak for B but my feeling is he became very overwhelmed and just shut down. I on the other hand think i went a little crazy bc i felt so out of control. My kids were so sick our finances sucked! we just drifted apart.... We could barely stand to be in the same room all we did was fight. Then my world came crumbling down... I sat down to return some emails and found one that I almost deleted thinking it was spam... I am sure B wished i would have ;) (yes he and i can laugh now)...... I am sure you can imagine what i found.. B admitted it and we tried hard to make it work but I think our marriage was to far gone to be repaired. Honestly though it was the probably the best thing that happened to both of us. Then after he moved i found out i was expecting baby Lo... We are working to hard to do what is best for the kids. So now back to the question B has met someone who is very special to him and when he comes to pick up the kids this weekend we are going to have lunch so i can meet her since they will be around her. No i am not going to be mean i see no reason to. Plus i do not want the kids to see that and think its ok to be mean. Because its not.

Amelia turns 2!!!!!

2010-01-13T13:56:00.000-08:00

My sweet crazy beautiful little girl turned 2 on monday. I cannot believe 2 years have passed since she was born. She is still as little ever but is soooo strong willed.
Loves:
     Mommy
     Brothers
     Nana (nanas make up)
     Dora and Boots
     Finally like putting bows in her hair
     Loves picking out her clothes :)
Hates:
       Taking baths (getting hair washed)
        Not getting to go on the bus with her brothers
        going to sleep at night.

New Year New Me

2010-01-13T13:35:00.000-08:00

Last year was a rough year for me and the kids to. We had to get used to a new "normal". The divorce was alot harder than i thought it was going to be for me emotionally. By all means it is what i want but it was still sad that the family unit was breking up. Though B and i had our rounds in court. Which was hard. I decided at the first of the year that none of our issues matter what really matters is doing what is right for the kids. So he and I had a real true adult conversation last friday night and laid it all on the table. What i expected and what he expected and we came to a compramise. He is going to do his best to help out with the child support (yes he is behind) and other things the kids may need and he was going to try his hardest to see the kids once a month. He is taking them for a few days this weekend except for baby lo he is still to little. I am also meeting his new girl friend too. People have asked if i am going to be nice to her..... The answer is yes. i see no reason to be mean to her. She seems like a very nice person and I also do not want my children to see me be mean to her, because i do not want them to be mean or hateful to her.Our new normal has been going really well. The kids have done really well with the divorce i think that they even knew B and I were not happy. Noah asked the other day if i was married this is a first. I told him no mommy and daddy made better parents then married... He said yeah we did no more fighting. Wow kids know so much more than we give them credit for!

Christmas 2009

2010-01-12T15:24:00.000-08:00

Christmas this year was great. The boys got out of school the friday before christmas. They had a great first half of the year! The boys got a dragon castle from santa and Mia got her first baby doll from santa to. Baby Logan got a few bath toys what do you really get a 6 month old.

this and that

2009-12-21T14:14:00.000-08:00

Not much going on in the Wells house.. Which is nice for a change. Both boy are out on winter break and i am trying to find fun things to do around the house. This week we are going to bake cookies and put together a gingerbread house. And then I promised the boys that if they were good I would take them on a "date" to go see the new Chipmunk movie! We will see how it goes! Here are some pictures from the past few weeks

Wyatt's 4!!!!!!!

2009-12-18T13:52:00.000-08:00

Boy do I feel old! Wyatt turned 4 in november! we had a little birthday party for him with our good friend and hopefully Noahs future wife Abby! He had a cowboy birthday! He loves Woody the cowboy from toystory.... Here are some pics of my big boy Wyatt

Halloween!

2009-11-04T12:04:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful time trick or treating this year. We shared it with some old friends of mine who i have known since 7th grade. It was great. Noah and Wyatt were GI Joe's and Amelia was a lady bug and then baby Logan was a monkey. Sadly though one of my good friends who we got to share in her daughters first halloween will be moving to Georgia in a fews :( I am quite sad that our mommy trio will be broken up but she will be joining her husband who has been serving our country!

my babies

Divorce

2009-11-01T19:47:00.000-08:00

What can i really say about it? Except that it sucks to put it nicely. I hate that people judge me like i didn't do enough to save my marriage. I feel like screaming at them and telling you were not in my marriage you don't know what went on. You dont just file for it when your 4 months pregnant just because. If you have questions ask dont assume. I may or may not answer and that is my right. But please dont judge me. You have not lived my life. I do not judge you please have enough respect not to do the same to me.

Pumkin Patch

2009-11-01T19:27:00.000-08:00

The boys had a field trip to the arboritum last week. I volunteered to help along with another mom C. We had a blast. It had rained the night before so the patch was a little muddy but still fun for the kids.

Friends!

2009-10-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

What would I do with out my friends! I usually get the kids pictures done in the summer every year. But this year I just couldnt do it financially. So my bestie M also known to my kids as aunt M is going to to do some pictures for us this weekend! M has been thru think and thin with me. I cannot believe we have been friends for over 10 years now. Since highschool! She is deffinantly the sister that God forgot to give me. Plus we know to much about each other to not be friends! Hopefully we can get some pics up on monday.

4 months old

2009-10-20T13:50:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe 4 months have flown by since Logan was born. He is doing great. Though he did have his first ear infection but since being on antibiotics is doing much better! We had his check this week and he wieghs in at 15 lbs 1 oz my little chunk and is 26 in long! He is wearing 6-9 months clothes and is starting to roll from back to front he can do front to back already. He also is starting to pull his knees up. I dont know if i am ready for him to be mobile yet! I am trying to enjoy every minute with him since he is my last :( but am looking forward to all the fun things i will beable to do when they get older!

talking to the gecko

4 Little blessings

2009-10-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

In my last post i was so angry while i was writing. Angry for not understanding why God would give me four children to raise by myself angry that i can't make someone a father angry that I did not finish school before now. And then when i was done with the post my sweet Noah came in and out of nowhere gave me a hug and told me he loved me. It amazes me that God can soften our hearts just like that. A simple hug from a very sweet 5 year old nothing could be better. Each one of my four has taught me about life. Noah taught me its not all about me anymore. Wyatt taught me to laugh. Amelia has taught me patients she is my handful. Logan taught me to love life and embrace it.

they make me smile everyday

Frustration

2009-10-14T16:12:00.000-07:00

Where do I start I am so frustrated with the family legal system it is not even funny. How is it that one parent gets to competley walk away from their responsiblities and there is absolutely nothing that can be done about it? And when I say walk away I mean walk away. I wish I could say i understand but I dont. How is it that you can completly disregaurad a court order for child support and think you can give how ever much you think is ok? Or how is it that you cant force someone to be a parent but yet I have to call everytime a child is sick or there is something going on at school. When in reality you dont care enough to call the school your self or even learn about your childrens disease. When I tell you I am calling my lawyers you laugh because you know you get away with everything. At what point will the legal system step in? Because they havent. Its not your problem when the kids get sick and one has to be in the hopital atleast thats what I hear. You cant because you have a cough screw the fact that your 4 month old is really sick. Or that your 3 year old has to go in to the hospital you dont even bother to call or to come get your other 2 kids and dont even know who they are staying with or that the people who have them had to take off work because you didnt care enough to. You can call everyday at the apointed time but that doesnt make you a parent. I stay up doing round the clock breathing treatments to 2 children while going to school and making sure that the one who can go to school is up and ready no matter how little sleep I get. I clean cook drive and am there emotionally for the kids. I am tired but yet I cannot take a day off. Its called being a parent! How dare you say poor baby about the baby when you are not willing to help out and come up with every excuse in the book why not to take the kids. How dare you pay a fourth of your financial responsiblity to your children and tell me you cant pay anymore because you are saving to buy a house! Grow up be a parent make the sacrifices!
Whew ok i am done ranting i just had to get that out! As you can see i am very frustrated! Thanks for letting me vent!

Baby Gear

2009-10-05T13:49:00.000-07:00

Over at Kelly's Korner she is doing a show us your life baby stuff. I don't normally do these but i thought on this one i would. Since i have teh 4 kids and all

My Favorite things:
The boppy especially if you are going to breastfeed. Though it did take me a while to get used to it.
Johnson & Johnson ready to use washcloths when they first come home
Bouncy chair is a must! or a swing is good too
if your baby has reflux the wedge are awsome
Recieving blankets they come in handy if your babies are big spitter uppers
Invest in a good pump
A playpen thats also a bassinet
A car seat stroller duo
Earths Best babyfood

My not so favorite things
A baby bath they dont use them for very long and the can be expensive. I put towels in the sink and elevate the head
Diaper Genie easier and less expensive to just throw it in the trash
Cheap diapers!
beachnut baby food none of my kids would touch it

After Baby is born dos and donts
Do turn your phone off for a week and leave on the machine all the important info
Dont turn away people willing to cook for you the first few weeks
Do tell people it not a good time to come visit no ones feelings will be hurt
Dont turn people down who want to babysit so you can get a nap or to to the store by yourself!
Do have people wash their hands before they touch the baby
Dont refuse hand me down baby clothes they can be so expensive

Thats really all I have for now.

Infusion days

2009-09-22T15:30:00.000-07:00

I have never really talked about what happens during an infusion for the boys. There really is not much to it. We go to the clinc at our dr's office and see our wonderful nurse K! The boys both have ports so they do not have to get stuck everytime we go in. The ports are in there chest not too far below their collar bones. The do make life much easier. Then the boys get "accessed" and are given fluid then premeds like steriods and benadryl then they get their IVIG. 6 grams for Wyatt and 8 for Noah. It is an all day thing. We ge there about 10 and leave about 530ish. Then we do it all over again in 3 weeks!

lonely nights

2009-09-22T15:21:00.000-07:00

I was watching Jon and Kate + 8 last night. Kate was talking about how lonely the nights can get. It struck a cord with me. They do get very lonely. I love my children more than anything but it is lonely not having somebody to share an adult conversation with. There is only so much you can tell a 5 year old that you don't want everyone knowing! But school does take up alot of my time now at night but its not the same ;) I am about to take my first test this week and am quite nervous about it! The kids are depending on me to do well in school and get a job! I also try to make it to the Y everyday to work off this baby wieght and to have some me time! My ex does not take the kids like he is suppose to so I am thankful that the Y offers parents night out! I am going to do the first one in October and hopefully get some early christmas shopping done. My goal is to be done by thanksgiving.... We will see how well that goes! I do have to add to this that i am so blessed to have my Mom. She has been my rock through this whole process! I honestly dont know what i would do with out her!

Sometimes I am creative

2009-09-22T14:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get a wild hair to do something creative! So i decided i would learn how to make hair bows for Mia since money is tight i can"t really afford to buy them. So i looked up a site online and found direction and off i went to make some bows. This is the result

A friend of mine is having a baby this week and since she did not find out the flavor of the baby. I decided to make a diaper basket. If i do say so myself it turned out pretty cute!

Rain rain go away

2009-09-13T11:48:00.000-07:00

It has rained here for the last 3 days straight. It was no fun for anyone we could not go anywhere because I did not want to get Logan out in the weather. So the 3 oldest by Sunday were climbing the walls! We did end up baking a yummy pineapple upside down cake and some chocolate cookies. I had never made one of those cakes before but it was quite easy.

Cleaning

2009-09-13T11:33:00.000-07:00

I thought since the boys were old enough i would add some more chores to the list of things they have to do. I needed to wash their sheets so i asked them to get them off the beds.

This is what i found when i went into the room:

School days

2009-09-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

We have been back in school now for 3 weeks. I say we because along with the boys being back in school so am I. Wyatt started august 24. Noah started the following week and then i started a week after him. Wyatt is doing fabulous in school he has really come into his own over the summer. He is in the DISD preschool which is all day 5 days a week. He also is a big boy and takes the bus in the mornings. Noah is in Prek which is half day in the afternoons. I decided to hold him back a grade due to the fact when he was little he spent so much time in the hospital he did not get the foundations down to enter kindergarten. He can do his numbers and letters but his writting needs some work along with reading. But he has so impressed his teachers and myself with how far he has come with just one semester of school. I started back to college to finish my degree so that i can make a better life for myself and for the kids. I should be done in may of 2011.

Dad Weekend

2009-08-21T12:38:00.000-07:00

The 3 big kids are adjusting quite well to the divorce. There are days when the boys do ask when daddy is coming home. I have to remind them that mommy lives in her house and daddy lives in his and that we love them very much. It has made us better parents and the kids are happier now that there is no fighting. They went with their dad B for the weekend to visit his parents. the boys just love going there. They always have so much to do when they are there. Wyatt did get pretty sick while he was there with some type of infection. But B did a great job of taking care of him on all 3 ER visits. That is probably the hardest part of this is not being able to be there at all times for the kids. But Wyatt is doing much better now.. All the kids were glad to come home. And next week we start school!

Time goes fast!

2009-08-21T12:18:00.000-07:00

Baby Logan is getting his first real bath on his one month birthday. He was not a fan of it, but he did smell quite sweet after we were done! The is nothing better than a freshly bathed baby.

This is Baby Logan at 2 months. He weighs 12 lbs and is 23in long. He started smiling about a week ago and is starting to find his voice which is very sweet! All the kids love him. Noah wants to hold him all the time, Wyatt wants him to get up and play, and Amelia just kisses him all the time and brings him his blankies and toys. And he still doesn't like bathes

Halloween Already?

2009-08-21T12:10:00.000-07:00

My mom found these cute costumes at costco for the boys. Which is perfect because noah had been bugging me about wanting to be a GI Joe. So he is snakes eye from the new GI Joe movie and wyatt is iron man. The both looked to cute in their costumes. I cant believe how big they are getting. Its like it goes by so fast. Still haven't decided on what amelia or logan will yet. I am thinking possible tinkerbell for mia since she love tink.. Logan i am not sure yet maybe a caterpiller? Any ideas?

Logans arrival

2009-07-24T11:25:00.001-07:00

Baby Logan arrived a little sooner than expected! He was born June 15th 2009 at 455 am. He weighed 7lbs 15.3 oz! This is the first time i have ever gone into labor naturally. It was surreal expreince. I honestly thought i had a bladder infection. I woke up about 3 with some pain and then about 330 i realized the pain was coming every 3 minutes! I called my dr and she told me to go to the hospital immedaitely and it was a good thing i did. I was already at a 9 when i arrived... I got to the hospital about 4 am and at 455 he was born. We had to wait to push till my mom got there and the doctor too!

Summer Fun

2009-07-24T11:13:00.001-07:00

This is what we do to have fun when you are 9 months pregnant and dont want to go anywhere

The Boys Just sprayed her with water she was not as amused as they were

Noah's graduation

2009-07-24T11:02:00.001-07:00

I cant believe my little bear graduated! He has flourished this year at school! His speech is almost age appropriate! Which was a big concern if he could go into kindergarten and he can! I am so proud of him. He looked so cute in his white hat! This is Noah getting his diploma

Field Day

2009-07-24T10:50:00.000-07:00

The Boys had their first feild day at school. They had so much fun playing all the games and eating al lthe yummy food that Mommy doesnt usually let them have!

Noah doing the sack race. It was so cute to watch

Wyatt playing hockey

Baby Loagn update!

2009-05-25T13:05:00.000-07:00

No pictures of baby Logan. My dr. changed my delivery date to june 15th. A week earlier than expected but he is big which is consistant with his big brothers. So he will be here at 37 weeks instead of holding out till 38. I Think he hears all the noise and wants to see what going on out here. Noah is so very excited about baby "Wogan" as he calls him. He keeps asking how many days till he can hold him. So everynight i have to tell him exactly how many more nights till he will be here. I must say i am quit excited to meet the little guy too.

Amelia can walk!!!!!

2009-05-25T12:52:00.000-07:00

I made this video of Amelia for my friend Taylor who lives in Houston and wanted to see her walk! She wouldnt believe me till i posted proof! And let me tell you i am so gald she is finally walking i was getting a little scared. She took her first steps on mothers day. Which i must say aside from my ipod was one of the best gifts i got. So Taylor is the person i am talking to in the video

Noah's Schools Open House

2009-05-25T12:43:00.000-07:00

Noah's school had an open house where all the parents could see what they have been doing over the year. I also learned that Noah would be graduating and moving on to kindergarten. I will admit i cried. I was so relieved to learn that he was actually at the top of his class and more than ready to move on. There had been some question if he would need to be held back because of all his hospitalizations and not having been in school before. But that little stinker! he is so smart it just amazes me everyday when he gets home from school at all the new things he has learned. He has started reading which we will continue to practice over the summer along with writing. He is just my little miracle baby well i guess he is not a baby anymore as he reminds me he is a big boy. He graduates on June 1 st and i am so proud of him!

Wyatts first field trip

2009-05-11T19:57:00.000-07:00

Wyatt had his first school field trip to the Dallas World Aquarium. I got to go with him and it was so cool to see how much fun he had there. He loved sitting at this tank watching the fish swim by. He also loved the turtles. He is a big ninja turtles fan. I had to explain to him that the turtles here did not want pizza nor to come and play with him.

So darn cute!

2009-05-11T15:47:00.000-07:00

I decided since it was such a pretty day out to take some picture of the kids. Wyatt as you can tell does not like to have his picture taken. But i think it turned out ok.

Wyatts Soccer game

2009-05-05T12:42:00.000-07:00

Wyatt finally had his first soccer game after many rain outs. I love the team and the parents. It is a blast to watch the 3 year olds play soccer. Wyatt of course just stands on the field watching everyone else. At home though he and Noah play all the time. He is a very good player. So my hope is by the end of the season he atleast kicks the ball.

Spring Break!

2009-03-23T14:00:00.000-07:00

We had a rough start to our first spring break. Monday i had to take noah to the ER. He had 2 massive ear infections and the possible start of pnumonia. He was sooo sick. After a few rounds of IV antiboitics and some steriods he was feeling much better. Our week after that was pretty uneventful. I forget how much i love having the boys home and so does Amelia! They were a big help this week putting Amelia's crib up in their room. They were so cute "helping" with their tools. Amelia has spent 4 night in thre so far and has done well. It is very sweet at night i can here the boys talking to her before they go to sleep. It just melts my heart to see them with their little sister! And this morning was hard getting everyone up and out the door on time for school. We almost did not make it!

Noah's first soccer game

2009-03-01T19:11:00.000-08:00

Noah played in his first soccer game on Saturday. He was so excited to play and be with other kids. He didn't really get the whole idea of the game till the end. But the coach has been wonderful with Noah. He makes sure to talk right to him since he does have some difficulty with his hearing. I love the other moms too! Noah's team the bobcats did not score a goal but those boys sure did have fun even in the 30 degree weather!

Noah is the one the coach is talking to

Noah's 5th Brithday!

2009-02-23T18:53:00.000-08:00

My sweet boy turned 5 today! He is my miracle baby! His orginal due date was April 7th. I had a pretty normal pregnancy with him up until the third trimester. Then I was put on bedrest due to preterm labor. So i stayed on bedrest till February 23 when i went in for a drs appt and had extremely high blood pressure and that the only way to get it down was to deliver Noah. So 6 weeks early he arrived 6 hours after i was induced! He was born February 23rd @ 646 pm. He was born blue and was whisked away to the NICU. When i was was finally able to see him 6 hours later and the news was not good. He was such a big baby at 8lbs 8oz and being so big can greatly affect the outcome. The next morning the news was even worse they had given him 2 doses of surfactant which is what your lungs are suppose to make they minute you enter the world. They did not work. After 2 doses they tend not to do a 3rd. They were preparing us for the worse. I prayed like i had never prayed before. It also happened to be fat Tuesday. They next day we had visitors from St. Paul and did the ashes. I went to check on Noah before i was discharged and walked into the NICU and was greeted with a nurse holding my baby boy! no vent anymore! what a blessing. I look at Noah everyday and am grateful for everyday that i have spent with him~

Its a BOY!

2009-02-22T16:03:00.000-08:00

I had my 20 week check up with my perinatologist (sp). Its a boy Logan Daniel! I am so excited i will have three sweet boys and one little princess. All of Logan's measurements are great. He measures about two weeks a head already. Which all of my boys tend to be on the larger side. I have been put on restrictive activities! which for those of you who know me its very hard for me to do. Because Logan is already so big he is putting a lot of pressure on my cervix which has been sewn shut! But i have to go in monthly for sonos to make sure it stays that way. At 32 weeks i will be put on permanent bed rest to hopefully get me to 38 weeks. Which Logan will be lucky enough to share his Birthday with his very big brother Cody! Please pray that i do make it to 38 weeks. With the other boys i did not.

Amelia's one year dr. appt

2009-02-04T06:22:00.000-08:00

Miss Amelia had her one year check up on January 29Th. She is so different from the boys. They have always been top of the chart for weight and height. Amelia on the other hand is barely on the charts! She is 28in and weighs on 17lbs 8oz. She falls in about the 20Th percentile for her age. The family has nicknamed her Thumbalina because she is so little. Other than that she was as healthy as could be. She will be getting her blood work done to make sure she is not at risk for what the boys have. Which we do know she is not. She is though a possible carrier for the disease.

Bubble Boys

2009-01-30T12:54:00.000-08:00

To my friends who keep emailing me the wonderful news about the gene therapy for child with this disease.
My boys do have Bubble boy disease but there are 2 different forms of it.
Sever Combined Immune Defficincy (sp?)- This is the one that the "gene therapy" will work for, These kids are missing all of their immune systems and it typically does not very in which parts are missing. It is genetic which means both parents have to have the recesive gene.These are also the kids that will not leave the hospital until they have recieved a bone marrow transplant. The State of Wisconson is the first state that will start testing all newborns at birth for this disease! Which is a huge deal. It means that these kids will get the treatment that they need right away!
Common Variable Immune Defficincy- This is what my boys have. Also known as primary immune defficiency. They are still trying to identify all the genes that cause this disease. 90% of the time it is genetic, like in my boys case, It is passed from Mother to son. Very rarely is it passed to a girl. Amelia more than likely is a carrier like me. No one child with CVID is missing the same parts of their immune system. We as parents do live with the fear of them getting that one infection that will kill them. We do what we can with IVIG infusion and preventative antibiotics, Theses kids still get very sick even with all that.
I am a big believer in giving blood it helps to save these childrens lives. It takes roughly 50,000 (not a typo) To get 5 grams of IVIG for each of my boys.
Noah was 2 when we found out. He started on treatment right away. Wyatt started getting tested right after that. His immune system was low and we treated it with preventative antibiotics and it seemed to keep him healthy for the most part, Then When he was 1 he got strep and it wiped out what good immune system he had left.
Noah has been doing IVIG for almost 3 years now.
Wyatt for a little over a year. I will try to get some pictures to put up of them in the infusion office they look very cute with their blankies and animals watching movies!

Noahs School play!

2009-01-25T13:33:00.001-08:00

Noah had his first school play on January 15Th. His school play used all grades from PreK thru 5Th grade. They were telling the history of the USA. Noah's class sung about Yankee Doodle! It was so cute. I couldn't help but get teary eyed while he was up with his class singing. He has come through so much in his short life. When he was born we did not expect him to make it. Then again when he was almost 2 and was diagnosed with common variable immune deficiency and at that point thought his best option was a bone marrow transplant. He was not responding to the normal treatment for CVID but within a matter of weeks his body started accepting the infusions! But i am off the subject now. He was so proud everyday when he would come home from school with his "homework". Which was to practice his Yankee doodle song. Up on stage he was easy to pick out! He was the whitest kid up there! He is on the left first row 2nd in. I am so proud of him. He knew all the words and actually sang!

BABY #4

2009-01-17T13:35:00.000-08:00

I had my OB appt. this week and we did a sono to see how things are going. I am due July 5th but more likely the week of June 22nd. I never make it much past 37 weeks. Baby looks great. He/she was about 5 oz, and right on schedual for how far along i am. I do have sono pics and will post them soon! I have a great picture of he/she's foot. I have decided with this one i am not going to find out. I already have 2 boys and a girl and still have everyones baby clothes.

Amelia turns 1!

2009-01-17T13:24:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe it has been a year since my baby girl was born! She is still so very little. Which is fine with me! She was born on January 11Th 2008 at 1:46 pm. She has changed so much in a year. Her personality has blossomed too. She is sweet and loves her brothers they can get her laughing and it is so cute. She is also my loudest i think. I guess with 2 big brothers you would have to be! She loved her birthday dinner of pancakes (which are her favorite) and strawberries and then for desert was a yummy chocolate cake! She got from her Nana her first American girl doll. It was the 2008 doll of the year who's name just happens to be Mia, which is what we call Amelia!

Christmas

2009-01-17T13:12:00.000-08:00

Christmas morning was wonderful! The boys came in around 7 to wake up miss Amelia and me. Then we went to wake up Nana. My mom and i stayed up quite late the night before to help Santa put together Noah's wonderful dinoroar as he calls it. Noah got spike the dinosaur. He is 2 1/2 feet tall and is remote control. Wyatt got a geotrax train set, which we had to put together when he saw! then Amelia got a cruise and crawl jungle set! which some how the boys play with more than she does! It was a great day. We went later that day to my aunt and uncles where the boys got to play with their cousins Brandon and Nathan who are the same age! Noah and Brandon played guitar hero which was priceless to watch. Wyatt and Nathan wore each other out playing foot ball outside.

First Time!

2008-12-30T09:21:00.000-08:00

Life is never what you expect. I never expected at 26 I would have three children with one more on the way, or that after 5 1/2 years my marriage would be ending. But this is where i am today. I would not change anything. Noah was born on Feburary 23 2004. He was a premie to an extint. He was 8.5 lbs almost 6 weeks early! He did have to stay in the NICU for a week. Then there is Wyatt he was born November 22 2005. He was 3 weeks early and 7.5 lbs, but was perfectly healthy. Then came Miss Amelia she was born Janurary 11 2008. She was right on time and the littlest of all at 6.5 lbs. She too was perfectly healthy. Now we are just waiting on baby D to get here in June! The boys are very excited. They are so sweet with Amelia, when she is crying they go to her and try to make her laugh or bring her lovey to her. Noah loves to come and kiss my belly and talk to the baby. Wyatt on the other hand thinks it funny to push on my belly and say baby!