it takes a village

I must agree it does take a village to raise a child. Or in my case children. Being a single mom is hard. I knew it would be there are days when I am completely overwhelmed and want to pull my hair because i know that there will be no one walking through the door at 6 to help or give me a break. I know that i will be with out a partner for awhile and thats ok. I knew i had to be ok with it when i filed for divorce. But in the mean time I have a phenomenal best friend M she and T have been such a blessing! They met us yesterday after infusion and we went to Mr. Gattis. T was so good with the boys! And I am so grateful for them! here are some pics:

please don't

Please don't tell me you get it about my sick kids or you hear me or anything to that affect! No you dont! You do not know what it is like to practicly live in the hospital. Or to have drs tell you that you are crazy! Or to have the ER flag you as a frequent flyer.... To be confined to your house with 2 very small children because everytime you go out with them they get sick. I dont just mean sniffles i mean 105 fever and a hospital stay. Because heres the deal you dont get it and you never really will! This is my life it wont get better my boys will not get better. I wake up everyday with a fear that they are sick and knowing that this is the sickness that they just cant fight. I live with the fear of losing my boys everyday so no you do not hear me when i say my kids are sick! and please do not complain about your child being sick becuase you truely have no IDEA what sick is!

SNOW!!!!!!!!!!

It snowed here today!

Going back

I am going back to church! I am so excited about this. I have felt for along time something has been missing from my life and from the kids. I have joined the moms group at church too! I feel like such a new person. I love that my life has had some crazy twist and turns but it has led me back to God. I feel at such peace. I did laugh when i found out what the meeting next week was about... Keeping your marriage working! Though i am sure that it could be applied to all relationships not just marriage... We will see how it goes! I am just excited to meet other moms!!!!!

How far?

How far would you go to protect your kids? My friend K wrote about protecting her kids. It made me think about how far I would go. I am completely inlove with my kids :) they make me smile just thinking about them. The reality is i cannot protect them from everything but will do everything in power to try. I will try protect them from emotional and physical hurt. I have a hard decision to make do i allow my children to go to their fathers wedding or keep them home? Do i let them get angry with me now for reasons they will understand later or do i let them go and be here for them when they get back? The kids had a very hard time while they were with their dad. They are not used to seeing with anyone but me. They are still so young when do i let them go? I dont agree with this wedding at all. They were togther before i even filed for divorce and her age really bothers me! What if Mia were to come home at 18 with a 37 yr old? I must say God has blessed me with an amazing life, family and friends! Without them i am not sure i would know how to handle any of this! So do i let them go?