Halloween!

We had a wonderful time trick or treating this year. We shared it with some old friends of mine who i have known since 7th grade. It was great. Noah and Wyatt were GI Joe's and Amelia was a lady bug and then baby Logan was a monkey. Sadly though one of my good friends who we got to share in her daughters first halloween will be moving to Georgia in a fews :(  I am quite sad that our mommy trio will be broken up but she will be joining her husband who has been serving our country!

my babies

Divorce

What can i really say about it? Except that it sucks to put it nicely. I hate that people judge me like i didn't do enough to save my marriage. I feel like screaming at them and telling you were not in my marriage you don't know what went on. You dont just file for it when your 4 months pregnant just because. If you have questions ask dont assume. I may or may not answer and that is my right. But please dont judge me. You have not lived my life. I do not judge you please have enough respect not to do the same to me.

Pumkin Patch

The boys had a field trip to the arboritum last week. I volunteered to help along with another mom C.  We had a blast. It had rained the night before so the patch was a little muddy but still fun for the kids.

Friends!

What would I do with out my friends! I usually get the kids pictures done in the summer every year. But this year I just couldnt do it financially. So my bestie M also known to my kids as aunt M is going to to do some pictures for us this weekend! M has been thru think and thin with me. I cannot believe we have been friends for over 10 years now. Since highschool! She is deffinantly the sister that God forgot to give me. Plus we know to much about each other to not be friends! Hopefully we can get some pics up on monday.

4 months old

I cannot believe 4 months have flown by since Logan was born. He is doing great. Though he did have his first ear infection but since being on antibiotics is doing much better! We had his check this week and he wieghs in at 15 lbs 1 oz my little chunk and is 26 in long! He is wearing 6-9 months clothes and is starting to roll from back to front he can do front to back already. He also is starting to pull his knees up. I dont know if i am ready for him to be mobile yet! I am trying to enjoy every minute with him since he is my last :( but am looking forward to all the fun things i will beable to do when they get older!

talking to the gecko

4 Little blessings

In my last post i was so angry while i was writing. Angry for not understanding why God would give me four children to raise by myself angry that i can't make someone a father angry that I did not finish school before now. And then when i was done with the post my sweet Noah came in and out of nowhere gave me a hug and told me he loved me. It amazes me that God can soften our hearts just like that. A simple hug from a very sweet 5 year old nothing could be better. Each one of my four has taught me about life. Noah taught me its not all about me anymore. Wyatt taught me to laugh. Amelia has taught me patients she is my handful. Logan taught me to love life and embrace it.

they make me smile everyday

Frustration

Where do I start I am so frustrated with the family legal system it is not even funny. How is it that one parent gets to competley walk away from their responsiblities and there is absolutely nothing that can be done about it? And when I say walk away I mean walk away. I wish I could say i understand but I dont. How is it that you can completly disregaurad a court order for child support and think you can give how ever much you think is ok? Or how is it that you cant force someone to be a parent but yet I have to call everytime a child is sick or there is something going on at school. When in reality you dont care enough to call the school your self or even learn about your childrens disease. When I tell you I am calling my lawyers you laugh because you know you get away with everything. At what point will the legal system step in? Because they havent. Its not your problem when the kids get sick and one has to be in the hopital atleast thats what I hear. You cant because you have a cough screw the fact that your 4 month old is really sick. Or that your 3 year old has to go in to the hospital you dont even bother to call or to come get your other 2 kids and dont even know who they are staying with or that the people who have them had to take off work because you didnt care enough to. You can call everyday at the apointed time but that doesnt make you a parent. I stay up doing round the clock breathing treatments to 2 children while going to school and making sure that the one who can go to school is up and ready no matter how little sleep I get. I clean cook drive and am there emotionally for the kids. I am tired but yet I cannot take a day off. Its called being a parent! How dare you say poor baby about the baby when you are not willing to help out and come up with every excuse in the book why not to take the kids. How dare you pay a fourth of your financial responsiblity to your children and tell me you cant pay anymore because you are saving to buy a house! Grow up be a parent make the sacrifices!
Whew ok i am done ranting i just had to get that out! As you can see i am very frustrated! Thanks for letting me vent!